Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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