You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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