my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
