Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
