Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
