Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
