I cockslap morals
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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