There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
