I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize