this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
