it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
