You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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