dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize