There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
