I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
