I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
