white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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