I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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