you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
