no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
