I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
