And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
