New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
