Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
