I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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