Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
