You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
