erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
