Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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