but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize