I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
