Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
