I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
