What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
