So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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