I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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