I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
