Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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