You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
