Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
