3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
