covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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