On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i think i just lost a toe
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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