i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
