Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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