I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
