You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
