okay pat passed out under dana's car
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize