So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
