I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize