Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
