On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
