Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
