Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
