he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
