Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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