Cold hands, warm shart.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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