I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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