He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
