i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
