Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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