I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
