Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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