Nicole vs. Life
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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