You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize