There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
wow bdsm is so cute
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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