The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He has the fingertips of a God
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