I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize