Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
